In all aspects of life we see nature reminding us that letting things go or moving on is constant. Our season's transition and with each one we must prepare our mindset for leaving a comfortable place and becoming vulnerable to what comes next. What's my point? Point is that your child will grow up and move on and letting him/her go is healthy. Men and women come in and out of your life and no matter how much you want them to be more in than out...some of them will move on.
A great teacher once taught me that what you love the most, must be freed and part of the point of having that person remain free is to receive the gift in returning. If it is meant for that special loved one to return, they will and when it isn't...its not a loss if you keep the lessons. It is far greater to have freedom love than enslaved love. Freedom love allows for individuality, it allows for honesty, it communicates clear enough for comprehension and needed space for growth. Enslaved love has restraints/conditions, it manipulates, omits the truth for personal gain, mind games occur just to keep you in the loop of a false sense of love and being monitored constantly may occur. Beauty about this life is we can make a choice once we are clear. Make sure you do your best to keep your relationships healthy and when a loved one goes in or out...you will still wish them well.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
MONEY MATTERS
I had a conversation recently with a guy who shared that some women are more concerned about getting money from men as oppose to building relationships. Here is my take on those types of people be it male or female. How you make money is your own choice and if a person is willing to be used then so be it. I personally think it makes more sense to have a partner assist you create your own money opportunities rather than go the easy route by having him hand you c-notes/cash.
Specifically in love relationships prior to marriage, it seems more wise to invest in creating money for yourself and when/if the mate you are intimate with can increase your wealth by teaching you something or sharing creative endeavors, both parties win. Relationships nowadays seem to be expiring at a quick rate so why bother setting up dependent relationships by persuading him to give you an "allow"ance. He will have strings attached to what he "allows" you to do when money is consistently given to you. Rules come with money given so freely and a portion of your freedom may come with it too. Try the more liberating side...making your own money and having him assist with your business ventures. It is much more liberating to have your own idea, build confidence by starting your own company and have him help network, spread the word, elevate your business sense or be supportive.
When a man takes time to teach you what he has acquired and open up his network to allow you opportunities, it is far greater than him reaching into his pocket and giving you money. I know if he can make time to help me build wealth he and I may be adding to a solid foundation in love if all other things align. They say, money ruins relationships and in many ways the lack of knowledge about money matters can have your relationship struggling! So, do you want to be treated like a child and be given an allowance or grow up and handle your own money affairs?
Monday, November 14, 2016
Women and Girls Differ!
Many Men still want girlfriends! I am just reminding you that what you say, is typically what you get.
After a certain point in your maturation we must realize that a Woman and a girl are totally different. Girls can be expected to have many insecurities, doubt their abilities and do not have a good sense of who they are nor what it is they bring to the offering table. A Womb(man) knows exactly what she needs, already has had experiences to validate who she is and typically adds to the offering table. A man may find himself teaching a girl more and with women it should be balanced enough to trade lessons. Be ready to grow when you approach a balanced woman, she typically does not have time for games since she actually has goals to accomplish. Girls can be confusing and all over the place because they are not fully developed. We know that we have exceptions to the rule...awesome girls and immature women but I am giving an overall viewpoint on how we differ. Sad thing is, girls can be as old as 50 and women can be found in their 20's. Age really does not factor into how a woman matures...experience and choices do.
So Men based upon my description...do you want a girlfriend or a woman? You decide. (Boys attract Girls and Men attract Women).
Your Woman,
Sabiya
After a certain point in your maturation we must realize that a Woman and a girl are totally different. Girls can be expected to have many insecurities, doubt their abilities and do not have a good sense of who they are nor what it is they bring to the offering table. A Womb(man) knows exactly what she needs, already has had experiences to validate who she is and typically adds to the offering table. A man may find himself teaching a girl more and with women it should be balanced enough to trade lessons. Be ready to grow when you approach a balanced woman, she typically does not have time for games since she actually has goals to accomplish. Girls can be confusing and all over the place because they are not fully developed. We know that we have exceptions to the rule...awesome girls and immature women but I am giving an overall viewpoint on how we differ. Sad thing is, girls can be as old as 50 and women can be found in their 20's. Age really does not factor into how a woman matures...experience and choices do.
So Men based upon my description...do you want a girlfriend or a woman? You decide. (Boys attract Girls and Men attract Women).
Your Woman,
Sabiya
Baltimore Carnival 2016 Eyesblink Photography captures Richard's Maji Black
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| Head adornments |
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| Ready for Carnival |
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| Warrior |
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| Vibes |
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| Fun |
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| Queen in full effect |
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| Beauty captured |
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| Style |
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| Carnival Vibes |
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| Creative |
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| Mustafa |
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| In Motion |
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| Glammer |
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| Diva Dvine |
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| Freedom Dance |
Mannequin Relationships
I have lived long enough to know that those we spend the most time with, will impact us in a major way! You may know couples who have been in relationships for years and even have children appearing to be happy...right? Wrong. As I have observed my past relationships (that have not served me in the best way) and some I have been privy to, I noticed something. Someone or both people did not grow! If you come into the union with 500 dollars, great self-esteem and having your life functional...when you leave in debt, doubting your esteem and broken, you might have experienced a mannequin relationship. Even if you sacrifice what your dreams are to support your partner and in turn that person does not give you the same...you are foolish for staying in that situation.
Mannequin relationships are just for show and the presentation can appear to look rather charming. Everyone could be dressed well and go to gatherings as a unit but no one is doing the "work" that most relationships entail in order to propel the couple forward. Sometimes folks remain miserably together for many years. Perhaps one person is keeping the facade up by doing all the work meanwhile it presents itself like both people are working equally together.The attention is always placed on the outside/image of what the couple appears like as oppose to the inner qualities that keep healthy connections. Too many social media pictures with false fabricated smiles and for-the-moment hugs have us thinking all the wrong thoughts. Check your connections!
At some point when you are at a job, for a long period of time, you tend to be given more responsibilities or rise up the so called "corporate ladder". Just like in a job, when you connect with a person and it ends...both of you should be a bit more sharp in knowing who you are, improved in any weaknesses and more confident in what you can bring into the next relationship. Not torn down, used and fed up!
It's time we do things with precision. Start setting personal goals and even goals for the couple. If you keep them realistic/obtainable and can't reach the goals, then that is a good way to tell if you should continue that relationship or let it go. Who says you have to be married to have relationship goals? The way we do things nowadays people are in relationships just as long as marriages, so it makes perfect sense to treat it seriously. I am not a relationship expert but I have had my share and lend my perspective. Perhaps Mannequin relationships work for you...you settle for less...you will not grow and you keep it real basic. If that is what you like, so be it. However, for those that need growth and productive connection not matter how brief, consider an unconventional method. I would rather walk away from a relationship feeling like we met some goals, I have improved on some level and it was not a complete waste of my life. That's just me though, hope you enjoyed my thoughts.
Mannequin relationships are just for show and the presentation can appear to look rather charming. Everyone could be dressed well and go to gatherings as a unit but no one is doing the "work" that most relationships entail in order to propel the couple forward. Sometimes folks remain miserably together for many years. Perhaps one person is keeping the facade up by doing all the work meanwhile it presents itself like both people are working equally together.The attention is always placed on the outside/image of what the couple appears like as oppose to the inner qualities that keep healthy connections. Too many social media pictures with false fabricated smiles and for-the-moment hugs have us thinking all the wrong thoughts. Check your connections!
At some point when you are at a job, for a long period of time, you tend to be given more responsibilities or rise up the so called "corporate ladder". Just like in a job, when you connect with a person and it ends...both of you should be a bit more sharp in knowing who you are, improved in any weaknesses and more confident in what you can bring into the next relationship. Not torn down, used and fed up!
It's time we do things with precision. Start setting personal goals and even goals for the couple. If you keep them realistic/obtainable and can't reach the goals, then that is a good way to tell if you should continue that relationship or let it go. Who says you have to be married to have relationship goals? The way we do things nowadays people are in relationships just as long as marriages, so it makes perfect sense to treat it seriously. I am not a relationship expert but I have had my share and lend my perspective. Perhaps Mannequin relationships work for you...you settle for less...you will not grow and you keep it real basic. If that is what you like, so be it. However, for those that need growth and productive connection not matter how brief, consider an unconventional method. I would rather walk away from a relationship feeling like we met some goals, I have improved on some level and it was not a complete waste of my life. That's just me though, hope you enjoyed my thoughts.
Monday, October 31, 2016
Pre-Pregnancy-Nuptial Contracts Anyone?
Are you familiar with a prenuptial agreement? In this day and age I assume most of us have some knowledge of this contract needed prior to marriage, in order to safeguard assets. Well may I be the first (I think) to propose a pre-pregnancy-nuptial agreement? Prior to pregnancy while the couple is in a happy place, plan for what would happen if the relationship dissolves. This contract could potentially protect future children from going through the pain of an absentee parent. Having consequences within the contract that are individualized may make a person think twice before being irresponsible. Not saying it will work 100% of the time but it is something to keep in mind. Some questions to ask are...who would be the primary care provider? How may hours will be shared? What happens if someone moves out of state? Will you both need to attend Doctor appointments? Raising children is so much to think about and it helps to give a realistic thought process prior to splitting atoms or sharing DNA ;)
Let us really think about it, what does greater damage, walking away from children or walking away from materials? We can recover from the loss of our home and bank accounts being at an all time low...I am not saying it's easy... but with the right mindset a person can come back having more gains in what was lost. What do you tell a child in mourning who has a mother/father that is not dead but he or she refuses to participate in sharing the ability to respond to being a "pair"rent(parent). The word PAIR is within that word for a reason, no it is not the exact spelling but within the creation of a child it takes two! Hence the word pair. Now if 1/2 of this pair is selfish what do u do? Court is not always a win/win situation. I say before you allow him or her to get caught up in the moment of lust or love...create a prepregnancynuptial. It would spare some of the ugly that comes in a break-up and it is a preventative measure. Some may read this and take heed, others may say it is a good idea but it's too much work...I say our world is evolving and it is time to be innovative in our problems surrounding families. The choice is yours!!!
Sabiya Amina
Let us really think about it, what does greater damage, walking away from children or walking away from materials? We can recover from the loss of our home and bank accounts being at an all time low...I am not saying it's easy... but with the right mindset a person can come back having more gains in what was lost. What do you tell a child in mourning who has a mother/father that is not dead but he or she refuses to participate in sharing the ability to respond to being a "pair"rent(parent). The word PAIR is within that word for a reason, no it is not the exact spelling but within the creation of a child it takes two! Hence the word pair. Now if 1/2 of this pair is selfish what do u do? Court is not always a win/win situation. I say before you allow him or her to get caught up in the moment of lust or love...create a prepregnancynuptial. It would spare some of the ugly that comes in a break-up and it is a preventative measure. Some may read this and take heed, others may say it is a good idea but it's too much work...I say our world is evolving and it is time to be innovative in our problems surrounding families. The choice is yours!!!
Sabiya Amina
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Our Future is Within Our Seeds of Today
It amazes me how some people in our world have little to no tolerance or zero patience for children. I am not saying be an ambassador for all children, however I need us to comprehend a few things.
Everyone must go through childhood! Seems like the creator of all the worlds deemed it special enough for ALL of us (that have the opportunity to make it to adulthood) go through it. Also, every child you see shapes our future. Children are our future leaders and followers of this life movement we have collectively entered. Have reverence for them and when on planes and you see a baby...try not to sigh because you can't sleep due to crying disturbances. Make sure you speak highly of them or not at all. Pour into the goodness of creating this world into a better place by assisting babies, children, and teens. Even if you just start with the ones in your family!
Sad part is some of you will create patience to deal with grown people in your life that you don't like for a check, monetary funds or even just because habitual affection is needed. Do not be that parent or guardian that gives all your good energy for a job you don't like, a man you can't stand just to come home and take out frustrations on your children or the children of others. It is not fair to them that you have allowed the outside world to tax you and give them left over love/energy. Be mindful of your childhood and how you had or wished for great childhood experiences. Attempt to assist one youth and guide them in a positive direction or just listen to them. Nowadays children have adult stress, so know that they are little people and do your best to help them navigate this world we live in.
Signing off
Sabiya Amina...your child advocate!
Everyone must go through childhood! Seems like the creator of all the worlds deemed it special enough for ALL of us (that have the opportunity to make it to adulthood) go through it. Also, every child you see shapes our future. Children are our future leaders and followers of this life movement we have collectively entered. Have reverence for them and when on planes and you see a baby...try not to sigh because you can't sleep due to crying disturbances. Make sure you speak highly of them or not at all. Pour into the goodness of creating this world into a better place by assisting babies, children, and teens. Even if you just start with the ones in your family!
Sad part is some of you will create patience to deal with grown people in your life that you don't like for a check, monetary funds or even just because habitual affection is needed. Do not be that parent or guardian that gives all your good energy for a job you don't like, a man you can't stand just to come home and take out frustrations on your children or the children of others. It is not fair to them that you have allowed the outside world to tax you and give them left over love/energy. Be mindful of your childhood and how you had or wished for great childhood experiences. Attempt to assist one youth and guide them in a positive direction or just listen to them. Nowadays children have adult stress, so know that they are little people and do your best to help them navigate this world we live in.
Signing off
Sabiya Amina...your child advocate!
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